My Life, in 17 Syllables or Less

          I wanted to do something a little different for my narrative.  I've been feeling somewhat poetic lately, putting more of my thoughts into writing.  I have formulated some haikus about my current stance on life.  My haikus are relevant to my own life, yet they are still vague enough for most people to relate to.
          Why haikus?
          Well I've always been a pretty good writer.  Hell, I'm one of a few people who can actually apply my knowledge of the differences between all the its, it's and there, their, they're and thens and thans.  (IMO, if you CAN'T, then you don't belong in college.)  Anyway... I've always been a pretty good writer.  I enjoy creative writing and have an urge to delve deeper into this art.  Haikus are just one form of creative writing.  I appreciate the simplicity and the potential for haikus to contain so much depth in just a few words.  If I continue writing haikus, my goal would be to implant my personality into my words.  But, for now, I am exploring narrative the only way I know how.  But I have to start somewhere!

Five, seven, then five

Syllables has a haiku

If you didn't know

Life, made into art
So simple a strategy
Yet hard to achieve

My heart has blossomed

You fill me with happiness

Two lives now complete

Father Time please halt

Let me breathe for one minute

Before I am crushed

Carrot, donkey, huh?

Why not a horse and apple?

Horses pull carts too

Wham, bam, thank you Pam!

I'm going to miss Michael

The Office is dead

I am so grateful

For my sensitive mother

Happy Mother's Day

Twenty-one, Vegas!

What a typical setting

It's gonna be rad

Conjunctions, cheating?

Someone, please enlighten me

I'm still new at this

          It would be very impressive for someone to encompass their entire life into a single haiku.  If this feat is possible, then I would love the opportunity to learn how.  But, for now, I am content with the ones I have created.

Kip's Lecture: 6

          I love spoken word!  When it's good, anyway.  I had a blast listening to everyone perform today.  Each person had their own way of speaking and conveying their world through the medium of voice.  The people that are most memorable are the ones that obviously felt deeply about their performance.  Humor is difficult to achieve when trying to be taken seriously, but it can be done, as demonstrated by a few of the people we saw today.  I loved the first girl's performance (sorry, forgot your name) because she fooled the audience into thinking she had a certain personality and then turned it around on us.  She was also unintentionally hilarious (maybe intentionally, I don't know).
          Beau Sia was also awesome to listen to.  He speaks so deliberately and seems so sure of his words.  I really admire that in an artist.  I have such a difficult time speaking to people.  If I could record a conversation I were to have, but pause for ten minutes to write out my responses, then I feel like life would be so much easier.  I can't think on my feet and I have often ruined people's perception of me because I'm retarded with my words.  Speaking is definitely a skill that I would like to develop.  Even though I aced Speech Class, I can't stand in front of people without notes and just talk for an extended period of time.  My boyfriend can rant for days, though.  It's so frustrating!  I want to learn how!

Progress/Documentation

          Well, I presented my confession this week, but I already posted documentation of it.  I didn't want my presentation for this to be overly emotional, but that's what happened.  I'm sort of done thinking about it for now. I guess I'll repost it here:
          As I am reading through the class's blogs, I am finding a lot of criticism about my piece.  I agree, it could have been clearer.  As a side note, I juggled with the thought of having the class bow their heads with me as I read my letter, as one would if they were praying.  Perhaps this act would have immediately put my message into context.  Obviously, I decided against this.  I wanted my presentation to be vague, as is my relationship with God.  But even if my presentation was clearer, I don't think that would have mattered.  People generally don't react positively when God is brought into the classroom, or in public at all.  I honestly expected these reactions, and I'm glad that people felt strongly enough to write about my performance, even if they didn't like it.  Like Kip said in lecture, he would rather have people hate his work than be indifferent to it.  I will take all the formal criticisms I got relating to the performance as art and consider them in my future work.

A copy of my confession project:

I am sorry I have ignored You all these years.  You would pop up in the back of my mind, but I would quickly shoo You away.  I would think, not now, I’m busy.  I don’t have time to spend with You.  I am busy.  I have so much to do, how could I possibly spare an hour to talk with You?  Can’t You understand that?

What a silly question.

I am sorry for trying to bribe You.  If You would only turn your head this once, I promise never to do it again.  But I always do it again.  And before I do it again, I have that same conversation with You.  But today is when I say no more.  I will not shame myself anymore.  I am worn down by grief and guilt, and I don’t want that anymore.

I regret avoiding You.  I have only been harming myself.  I am sad that I am only realizing this now.

I am ashamed of being ashamed of You.  I am ashamed of trying to hide You from people.  You have done nothing but love me my entire life.  What kind of child does that to their Father?

I am angry with myself.  And that makes me angry towards everyone else.  What kind of way is that to live?  I know I can’t forgive myself unless You forgive me.  So I am asking for forgiveness.  Help me be what You made me to be.

I feel more at ease now.  I know that I need You in my life.  But with that realization also comes more realities.  How do I tell him that I can’t continue on the path we’ve created?  How do I act around people that know me without looking like a hypocrite?  Please help me shake these feelings of uncertainty.  Because I do know, deep down, that You will make everything okay.

          I am also currently working on a painting in my Intermediate Painting class.  I'm happy with the progress so far.  Here are some progress shots:

Identity/Personal Space Thoughts

I’m not totally thrilled for the Personal Space/Identity Assignment.  I feel like it’s a contest of who can get the most attention.  I really can’t identify with this concept.  The only reason that I would want attention is because my ideas are actually good and they have a positive impact on people.  For example, I really like the example of the student dressed in a tracksuit who raced the skateboarders on campus.  The idea was playful and it didn’t harm anyone or challenge people’s values.  I like that sort of performance.

My problem is that I don’t know how to approach this assignment.  I’m more of an introspective person.  I want to have a fun and playful idea, but I just can’t think of any.  I would rather leave public interaction out of it.  Like I would set up some sort of installation and merely observe or document people’s reactions to it.  That works for personal space, right?  I don’t know.  I want to hear what other people have come up with.  Maybe their ideas will inspire me somehow.

Comic Reading: 5

          Comics are a relevant form of communication using art.  The entirety of human existence is based upon understanding what someone else is trying to communicate, and Comics are an avenue for such understanding.  Comic book artists and writers utilize a wide range of iconographic imagery in order to relay their thoughts into the viewer’s brain.  According to McCloud, cartoons have the ability to command the viewer’s attention and participation.  Sequence is achieved only because the viewer has the capacity to understand closure, and Comic book artists are constantly searching for ways to correctly portray a sequence.

          Comics allow artists and writers to expand their art making practices and are a versatile resource for them to be heard.  In order for a story to be successful, the writer or artist needs to evaluate the balance of their message.  Is there too much information or not enough?  Is the carrot too close or too far?  Like all artists utilizing any medium, Comic book artists just want to have their opinions heard.  A step further would be to have those opinions understood.  I think that is the bar that artists are striving for today.

A story that will change your life.

Narrative Proposals

1.          Well, everyone’s heard of “Asian glow.”  I’m half Asian.  And I am no exception to this phenomenon.  I would photograph the gradual progression of the phenotypic effects that alcohol has on my Asian body.  I care enough about documenting this because I find it very embarrassing that I cannot control how flushed my face gets when I consume alcohol.  And the insensitive people that point it out only make the situation worse.  I just think it would be interesting to see myself as they do, and really evaluate the situation for myself.  Or, should the narrative that other people relay to me bear any weight on my self perception?

2.          I think it would be an interesting thing for me to try to think like one of my roommates.  This one is particularly obnoxious, but I’m not entirely sure if she sees it that way.  So I would write a story about her day, from the point of view that I would think she has.  The only problem I see with this idea is that I don’t want it to come across as mean-spirited or rude.  I genuinely feel that she lacks all self-awareness, and all I would want to do is try to think like her.

3.          Drawing from Prompt A, depicting a narrative in the style of another artist, I would actually carry over from my “Favorite Artist” blog and depict a story in the style of Claude Monet.  I would consider presenting a very clear-cut, objective story, but illustrate it in Monet’s Impressionist style.  These two styles of representation are inherently opposite, and I wonder what the conceptual significance of the results would imply.

Favorite Artist

          I can't pick one single artist to call my favorite.  I have been influenced by so many different artists, from Leonardo and Botticelli to Monet and Whistler to Pollock to Dalí.  But if I have to pick one to talk about, I pick Claude Monet.  I love his Impressionist treatment of color and his depiction of natural light.  His work reflects my own reality, in that I can see my surroundings similarly to how he renders his paintings.  I have an eye condition called Amblyopia, where my eyes do not work together and my vision is poor in one eye.  I can see perfectly with both eyes open, but if I close my “good eye,” then the whole world becomes fuzzy and I can only see blocks of color.  Often, I cannot recall imagery in perfect detail, and instead I remember scenes as if they were Impressionist paintings, where only color and form matter.

Houses of Parliament, 1904

Garden in Giverny

          Not only are Monet's paintings gorgeous to look at, they also simply make me happy.  I love all the bright colors he uses, because they make the painting come alive.  There is so much movement present in his paintings, it's as if we can see the sun moving across the sky and feel the wind blowing through the imagery.

The Japanese Bridge