Confessions: Review 3

          I appreciated the conceptual significance of all the pieces presented today.  I don't think the pieces today were as strong as they could have been, including mine.  However, I think the strongest piece today was Jenny's because she obviously considered the symbolism attached to each object that was part of her piece.  It was well thought out on her part and I was able to empathize with her on the issue she presented, but only after she explained some of the more technical significances relating to tennis as a sport.  If she hadn't explained what the "sweet spot" was or if Caity hadn't brought up the meaning of the term "love," I wouldn't have fully understood the piece, but I would have understood it enough to get the general message.
          I also thought Andrew's piece was good.  We were immersed in darkness and experienced his piece only through audio.  However, some of the aspects of his story did not equate with some of the audio we heard.  Why was there a baby crying? I thought he said he was five or six? That is the only critique I can give him, though.  Other than that, I liked his piece.
           As I am reading through the class's blogs, I am finding a lot of criticism about my piece.  I agree, it could have been clearer.  As a side note, I juggled with the thought of having the class bow their heads with me as I read my letter, as one would if they were praying.  Perhaps this act would have immediately put my message into context.  Obviously, I decided against this.  I wanted my presentation to be vague, like my relationship with God.  But even if my presentation was clearer, I don't think that would have mattered.  People generally don't react positively when God is brought into the classroom, or in public at all.  I honestly expected these reactions, and I'm glad that people felt strongly enough to write about my performance, even if they didn't like it.  Like Kip said in lecture, he would rather have people hate his work than be indifferent to it.  I will take all the formal criticisms I got relating to the performance as art and consider them in my future work.


A copy of my confession project:

I am sorry I have ignored You all these years.  You would pop up in the back of my mind, but I would quickly shoo You away.  I would think, not now, I’m busy.  I don’t have time to spend with You.  I am busy.  I have so much to do, how could I possibly spare an hour to talk with You?  Can’t You understand that?

What a silly question.

I am sorry for trying to bribe You.  If You would only turn your head this once, I promise never to do it again.  But I always do it again.  And before I do it again, I have that same conversation with You.  But today is when I say no more.  I will not shame myself anymore.  I am worn down by grief and guilt, and I don’t want that anymore.

I regret avoiding You.  I have only been harming myself.  I am sad that I am only realizing this now.

I am ashamed of being ashamed of You.  I am ashamed of trying to hide You from people.  You have done nothing but love me my entire life.  What kind of child does that to their Father?

I am angry with myself.  And that makes me angry towards everyone else.  What kind of way is that to live?  I know I can’t forgive myself unless You forgive me.  So I am asking for forgiveness.  Help me be what You made me to be.

I feel more at ease now.  I know that I need You in my life.  But with that realization also comes more realities.  How do I tell him that I can’t continue on the path we’ve created?  How do I act around people that know me without looking like a hypocrite?  Please help me shake these feelings of uncertainty.  Because I do know, deep down, that You will make everything okay.